First!

Looks like I'm the first one to sober up after Memorial Day Weekend.

Here's a fitting tribute to a Medal of Honor winner (via the Angry Twins).

He Will Be Missed

Father Bryce Sibley has announced his retirment from Blogdom. The Saintly Salmagundi will be missed. Father has helped me see the whole world in a new light. For an example, consider the below:

We Let You Decide!

http://www.ultimatejudgment.com

Because who knows right and wrong better than you?

Barbara Boxer on Priscilla Owens

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Every time Barbara Boxer speaks, my job as a blogger gets easier. Put a mic in front of that lady, and I'm golden.

Caught this on Townhall's C-Log

"[Priscilla Owen] has been described on the Senate floor as ruling against a woman raped by a vacuum cleaner salesman. In fact, she said the woman was entitled to compensation from the rapist and his employer but not from the vacuum cleaner's manufacturer."

Well, I guess this means she won't be attending any Lynne Woolsey fundraisers, right?

New screenwriting ideas for "Law and Order"

Hat tip to Neal Boortz. He's some outstanding ideas for NBC:

The season finale of the show featured a storyline on judicial security. Detectives think a white supremacist is involved in the shootings of a judge's family. Here's part of the dialogue from that show:

ADA RON CARVER: An African American judge, an appellate court judge, no less.

MAN: Chief of DS is setting up a task force. People are talking about multiple assassination teams.

DET. ALEX EAMES: Looks like the same shooters. CSU found the slug in a post, matched it to the one that killed Judge Barton. Maybe we should put out an APB for somebody in a Tom DeLay T-Shirt.

Come on, folks. Can it be any more blatant? The strong suggestion here is that Tom DeLay supporters are the type that would be likely to shoot federal judges. Now ... tell me that there is no left-wing bias in this writing. Needless to say, Tom DeLay is torqued. He's fired off a letter to NBC protesting. It will go nowhere. In fact, NBC Entertainment President Kevin Reilly has come up with an excuse ... sort of: Reilly says: "The script line involved an exasperated detective bedeviled by a lack of clues, making a sarcastic comment about the futility of looking for a suspect when no specific description existed," Yeah, we're buying that one. Good try, Kevin.

Now ... The Talkmaster has turned screenwriter. I thought I would give writing a few scenes for Law & Order a shot. Here's my first effort:

ADA RON CARVER: "She looks like she was alive when the car went off the bridge"

MAN: "Why didn't she get out? The water is only four feet deep here."

CARVER: "Dunno. Maybe she was dazed. The door might have been jammed. Anyway, she suffocated. Lack of air. Must have been a brutal death.

MAN: "Was she driving when the car went off the bridge?"

CARVER: "Doesn't look like it. The seat is too far back for her to have been driving. Looks like someone taller .. a lot heavier."

DET. ALEX EAMES: "Check the car to see if it has a Ted Kennedy bumper sticker."

What fun! Here's another one.

CARVER: "Someone give her a tissue. Her lip's all bloody.

POLICE OFFICER: "That's the way we found her."

CARVER: "Where?"

POLICE: "In a hotel room. She was just laying on the bed, bleeding from this bite mark on her lip. Pretty beat up.

CARVER: "What's she saying?"

POLICE: "Says she was raped. Says some guy invited himself up to her room. He was going to talk to her about a job or something. He raped her."

CARVER: "The blood?"

POLICE: "He bit her on the lip."

DET. ALEX EAMES: "Let's put out an APB for someone wearing a Bill Clinton t-shirt."

Sorry ... I just can't stop myself. This script writing stuff is fun!

POLICE: We think she was involved in setting this whole thing up.

CARVER: How's that?

POLICE: We think she set up a phony corporation for them so that they could operate below the radar.

CARVER: We're going to need proof. We'll need her billing records.

POLICE: We got a warrant. Looked for them. They're not there.

CARVER: Did you ask her?

POLICE: Says they're gone. She doesn't have them, and doesn't even know if any exist.

DET. ALEX EAMES: Sounds like the Hillary Clinton excuse. Keep looking, they'll turn up. Probably with her fingerprints and handwriting all over them. She'll keep denying it though .. even when the evidence is right there in front of her.

I ask you to imagine, if you can, the outrage that would come pouring forth from the nation's liberal media if any of those punchy little vignettes actually appeared on a network television show. We would see stories damming NBC for using that dialogue and making those references to liberal icons. But in this case all NBC did was suggest that DeLay supporters kill federal judges. That's not bias .. that's entertainment.

Our First Two Official Fans

Welcome aboard, guys.

Re: (sneaking in through the window)

You're too silly for the Cambodian Midget Fighting League?

Now that's scary.

(sneaking in through the window)

Hi!
Sorry I haven't posted here yet...I have no excuse!
You guys scare me; are you sure I'm not too silly for this place? hehehe

Just a quick couple of links right now: If you haven't seen this yet, Lance at Red State Rant has an interview with ZELL MILLER up at his blog!
It's in two parts:

Part 1

Part 2

State's Rights?

Much has been said recently about the crap going on in the US Senate. It's all about judges -- but to what end? Primarily the liberals and the Democrats (The "seven" are liberals who are not Democrats) do not want self-government or self-rule. They believe judges should be able to make decisions for all people. Those opposed support state's rights. So why should states have rights?

States should have rights so that individuals of like-mind can get together and join together in peace under self-rule. If you don't like a states' rules, you should be able to pick up and move to another state. The only things in common between all states should be freedom and liberty -- the things outlined in the Constitution.

Why is this so opposed? In their hearts, liberals want power over people, and to do that, they need to pass laws that apply to as many people as possible. That's wrong, and that's why liberals don't like states' rights.

Praise to Buddha!

Here's the latest on the Korean scientists doing human cloning work. Hat tip again to Amy Welborn. Apparently, some guy has deduced that this stuff isn't immoral according to Buddhist philosophy. I guess we can all rest easy now. My bad.

Thus embryos in this early-stage of a fertilized egg or a cloned one can be used and this idea is comports with Buddhist teachings, according to Dong-A University professor Kwak Man-youn.

"Whether Hwang recognizes it or not, his idea corresponds with that of Buddhism. The Buddha did not see an early-stage embryo as a life," Kwak said.

He noted the Buddha categorized a fetus into eight levels as outlined in one Buddhist text, and the earliest stage of embryonic development was not included in the grouping.

I love this! I mean, all Western Civilization did was build Universities and develop the Scientific Method and whatnot. You can go back to Archimedes and beyond to find scientists and mathematicians. Nearly all the major advances and discoveries in science and technology have come from Western Civilization.

Yet as we all know, conventional wisdom tells us we were all slaves to ignorance and superstition until like, 1968 or something. You know, it's all about how the Pope said the sun went around the earth, and people were burnt at the stake for saying the world was round and whatnot.

Apparently, however, Buddha was a skilled embryologist. You know, because he was Buddha. What's up with that? It's like a friend of my wife had mentioned. This woman is a Unitarian who attends her church's Sunday Lectures, err, Services.

As she tells it, whenever the head lecturer person starts a speech which mentions "Jesus" yawns and fidgets are heard. However, as soon as the word "Buddha" gets mentioned, the entire place goes nuts. "Oooh! Oooh! Buddha! This is important!"


Well you know what? If Buddha was such a major prophet, if he had something of the Divine within him, how come he never wrote anything along the lines of the following:

"In the future, it will not be cool to rub my statues' tummies for good luck. Don't do it."

What, like he wouldn't know that was going down?

Extraordinary circumstances

The rattlesnake analogy

Here's an old Cherokee story that applies to the GOP filibuster cave last night:

A little boy was walking down a path and he came across a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake was getting old. He asked, "Please little boy, can you take me to the top of the mountain? I hope to see the sunset one last time before I die." The little boy answered "No Mr. Rattlesnake. If I pick you up, you'll bite me and I'll die." The rattlesnake said, "No, I promise. I won't bite you. Just please take me up to the mountain." The little boy thought about it and finally picked up that rattlesnake and took it close to his chest and carried it up to the top of the mountain.

They sat there and watched the sunset together. It was so beautiful. Then after sunset the rattlesnake turned to the little boy and asked, "Can I go home now? I am tired, and I am old." The little boy picked up the rattlesnake and again took it to his chest and held it tightly and safely. He came all the way down the mountain holding the snake carefully and took it to his home to give him some food and a place to sleep. The next day the rattlesnake turned to the boy and asked, "Please little boy, will you take me back to my home now? It is time for me to leave this world, and I would like to be at my home now." The little boy felt he had been safe all this time and the snake had kept his word, so he would take it home as asked.

He carefully picked up the snake, took it close to his chest, and carried him back to the woods, to his home to die. Just before he laid the rattlesnake down, the rattlesnake turned and bit him in the chest. The little boy cried out and threw the snake upon the ground. "Mr. Snake, why did you do that? Now I will surely die!" The rattlesnake looked up at him and grinned, "You knew what I was when you picked me up."

The rattlesnake represents Democrats, and the naive snakebit boy represents the GOP.

Dean: Stop using words!

DNC chief Howard "Primal Scream" Dean was on Meet the Press Sunday. Hilarity ensued:

Russert caught the one-time presidential candidate off guard when he asked about his recent endorsement of self-professed socialist Rep. Bernie Sanders to replace retiring Vermont Senator Jim Jeffords. "Well, first of all, he's not a socialist, really," Dean protested. When Russert noted that Sanders had acknowledged in writing: "Outside or in the House, I am a Democratic socialist," Dean offered meekly, "Well, a Democratic socialist – all right, we're talking about words here."

Yeah, we are...don't you just hate it when that happens? Those damned word thingees again!

Cambodian Midget Fighting Update

Apparently, the Cambodian Midgets fighting a lion story was faked. My wife I guess was right. There aren't forty-two midgets in Cambodia.

You can go here for a full explanation.

She blinded me with science!

Got this from Amy Welborn. Apparently, a South Korean scientist has succeeded twice in cloning human embryos.

Hwang is succeeding where the United States is failing because generous South Korean government support helped him create an efficient cloning factory. In his lab, an army of researchers trained in specialized individual tasks mans a high-tech assembly line that often operates 24 hours a day, Cibelli and others say.

This is a great thing, because when I think "sacred mystery of human life" I think "cloning factory" and "high-tech assembly line". Nothing like that to define common humanity.

Wasn't this in a Mad Max movie?

Nickie Goomba has returned, and it's due to him that I found this article from the BBC.

Lion Mutilates 42 Midgets in Cambodian Ring-Fight

Spectators cheered as entire Cambodian Midget Fighting League squared off against African Lion

Twenty-eight midgets dead, fourteen severely mauled. This was in the BBC, so it has to be for real, right?

I can't even get my head around this. There is (or was) a Cambodian Midget Fighting League and I wasn't notified? They fought a /lion/? I guess it was on ESPN 8 "The Ocho".

This was one of those stories I had to read to my wife. Now the thing to remember is, she's the straight man in our little comedy duo. I'm still staring at the screen, wondering things like, "Did they get sticks or spears to go up against the lion." And she says, "There's no way there were forty-two midgets in Cambodia."

The Bower: American Blogger

You see, this is why Bill is a better man than me. He watched the worst performances and came up with a great idea. I watched and thought, "What America really needs is: "American Idol: Elvis Impersonators".

I want a solid hour of sequined jumpsuits, karate kicks, and "In The Ghetto".

Dem guv of AZ avoids Chairman Dean

How it must suck to be a Democrat right now.

Arizona Democrat Janet Napolitano knew DNC Chairman Howard "the Scream" Dean would be in town today, so she steered clear of him. Story here.

Democrat leaders, especially those like Napolitano up for re-election in red states, want nothing to do with Dean. So Janet has found some pencils to sharpen, mascara to apply, or a hidden colonoscopy appointment for a "scheduling conflict." Hey, kudos to her for having those kinds of political survival skills.

This is what I live with

I /love/ New Mexico Democrats! They say Republicans are mean and dirty and are all rage and vitriol. Of course, they are full of light and life, just like John Coventry, who writes Fat Bill and Me. Beth and Vince look like they have cat blogs in comparison.

Press begins to circle the wagons

White House holds press briefing. MSM reporter tears into spokesman Scott McClellan for having the audacity to get mad at the Newsweek story that killed people. Hilarity ensues.

Partial transcript:

Q With respect, who made you the editor of Newsweek? Do you think it's appropriate for you, at that podium, speaking with the authority of the President of the United States, to tell an American magazine what they should print?

MR. McCLELLAN: I'm not telling them. I'm saying that we would encourage them to help --

Q You're pressuring them.

MR. McCLELLAN: No, I'm saying that we would encourage them --

Q It's not pressure?

MR. McCLELLAN: Look, this report caused serious damage to the image of the United States abroad. And Newsweek has said that they got it wrong. I think Newsweek recognizes the responsibility they have. We appreciate the step that they took by retracting the story. Now we would encourage them to move forward and do all that they can to help repair the damage that has been done by this report. And that's all I'm saying. But, no, you're absolutely right, it's not my position to get into telling people what they can and cannot report....

Q Are you asking them to write a story about how great the American military is; is that what you're saying here?

MR. McCLELLAN: Elisabeth, let me finish my sentence. Our military --

Q You've already said what you're -- I know what -- how it ends.

MR. McCLELLAN: No, I'm coming to your question, and you're not letting me have a chance to respond. But our military goes out of their way to handle the Koran with care and respect. There are policies and practices that are in place. This report was wrong. Newsweek, itself, stated that it was wrong. And so now I think it's incumbent and -- incumbent upon Newsweek to do their part to help repair the damage. And they can do that through ways that they see best, but one way that would be good would be to point out what the policies and practices are in that part of the world, because it's in that region where this report has been exploited and used to cause lasting damage to the image of the United States of America. It has had serious consequences. And so that's all I'm saying, is that we would encourage them to take steps to help repair the damage. And I think that they recognize the importance of doing that. That's all I'm saying.

Q As far as the Newsweek article is concerned, first, how and where the story came from? And do you think somebody can investigate if it really happened at the base, and who told Newsweek? Because somebody wrote a story.

MR. McCLELLAN: I think Newsweek has talked about it. They took it -

As far as I know, the tete-a-tete is still going on.

Newsweek exposed its liberal bias in another way, too. When the reporter with blood on his hands, Michael Isikoff, offered to resign, Newsweek refused and said: "We do not, I repeat, do not let this White House, any White House, make our staff decisions for us." Their first instinct was to say "this White House", then immediately backpedalled to try to look objective by adding the "er, I mean, any White House" disclaimer. Right...because they've been so independent in their years of negative coverage on the Clintons.

Oh, wait...there was no negative coverage of the Clintons! My bad! Well, at least no one rioted or died over my faux pas.

Dems' new unholy alliance

Senate Democrats are now enlisting the help of smutmaster Larry Flynt to help derail the John Bolton nomination. Full story here.

Nothing says "We're serious about reaching out to 'Red State' Americans and people of faith" more than leaning on Larry Flynt for help! Glad to see liberals are sincere in their efforts to consider normal America's moral values!

Barney Frank disses Howard Dean

Howard Dean:

He [Tom DeLay] ought to go back to Houston where he can serve his jail sentence.

Barney Frank:

That's just wrong. I think Howard Dean was out of line talking about DeLay. The man has not been indicted. I don't like him, I disagree with some of what he does, but I don't think you, in a political speech, talk about a man as a criminal or his jail sentence.

Guess Dean can forget about being invited to Mr. Frank's impending Mass. gay wedding. Oh, the floral arrangement is NOT to be missed!

Planned Parenthood Vs. Pope Benedict

Hat tip to The Anchoress for pointing this out:

PLANNED PARENTHOOD LAUNCHES CAMPAIGN AGAINST POPE BENEDICT XVI


Planned Parenthood has launched a campaign to motivate all of its members and supporters, nominal Catholics and non-Catholics, to send letters to the editor, requesting that Pope Benedict XVI reconsider his “backward views” and change his opinion on sexual morality.

You have no chance to survive, Planned Parenthood, make your time. As we all know, the Pope is "Equipped with x-ray vision, heresy-crushing kung-fu grip, a death ray and an evil, taunting laugh." What are you going to bring to the party, forceps and a suction hose? Too late, he's already out of the womb.

Flight Sims

Cigar Guy M over at the Cigar Intelligence Agency points out a great site for Flight Sim enthusiasts.


I'm not much on Flight Sims, but who am I to begrudge a fellow cigar smoker his hobbies.

Re: Site Design

Vinnie,

So what you're saying is, you wouldn't be down with a Mordor Motif? What about a giant spleen?

Site Design

This place could use a paint-job.

Please, nothing with an eyeball though.

Vent: private school point-counterpoint

Two reader "contributions" (and I use that term loosely) from Wednesday's Vent section of the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

You're not fooling anyone. Private school is all about status for the parents, not quality of education for kids.

If you hide your kids in a private school, you deserve the house full of intolerant bigots you are raising.

Today's retort of aforementioned ignorance:

I send my kids to a private school so your kid won't have a chance to sell them drugs.

Good Lord, I don't think I could have come up with a better reply!

Jumpin' Jim a Sunni?

From Ann Coulter:

The minority Sunnis, who once held sway under Saddam Hussein and were told by American liberals to expect major payback from the Shiites under a democracy, were chosen by the majority Shia government for four cabinet positions – including the not insignificant position of defense minister. Plus, the Sunnis might get a fifth if they can convince Rep. Ali Abu Jeffords to switch parties.

To quote the great philosopher of our time, Larry the Cable Guy: "That's funny stuff right there! I don't care who you are...that's just funny right there!"

People still fall for this?

From The Scotsman:

Jacobus Groenen received an e-mail from the son of a late African mining chief granting him millions if he collected two cash-filled boxes stored in Scotland.

Mr Groenen was so convinced he jetted to Glasgow from his home in Holland dreaming of a massive windfall. But, when he arrived he soon discovered he was the victim of an elaborate global scam targeting computer users.

This ticks me off because I know one day someone will have millions of dollars in escrow, and they will email me to ask for like, five bucks to get it cleared up. Then I'll be all like, "Whatever, loser." And I will miss out! Thanks, conmen.

I'm Beth and I'm reporting for...oh, nevermind

Just slap me, I almost quoted some French-looking idiot. heheee

Who are all these goofballs who I've signed on to be associated with, anyway???

Testing, testing!

Just because to the second power!

Yeah, Just Because

What he said